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Friday, November 25, 2011

My Poetry: I Must Hide This Pain Away...

I Must Hide This Pain Away…

You told me the news,
I felt like I couldn’t breathe,
This sorrow buried inside,
Had its trigger to seethe;
This news should bring joy,
But I feel such immense sadness,
“Their having another baby”,
Was news that should have brought gladness;
It shouldn’t make me burst into tears,
But when we were pregnant first,
And lost our little one…
The day just felt,
Like my world had lost its sun;
Now, every single time,
News like this comes,
I hear a roar in my ears,
And my heart beating like from a distant drum;
It’s like my body is in shock,
It misses you, our sweet little Hope…
After almost three years now,
I should be able to cope;
But the tears can’t help but fall…
I remember when we were so excited to see,
Your little shape like a lentil,
Then, from such heart-filling joy,
It plummeted to a pain with a force so elemental;
 “I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat.”
“It’s not a viable pregnancy.”
“Not. A. Viable. Pregnancy.”
“NOT. Viable….”
My heart just stopped in that moment,
And in this present moment, I keep wondering, “When???”
When can I feel the happiness I want to feel for others?
When can I react normally once again?
Instead of feeling like I can’t breathe,
I hate feeling this way!
I’m so sorry to my joyous family and friends,
So I must hide this pain away…

~ By Jayne Michellane a.k.a Lady Jayne, 25 November 2011

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